This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
