And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
