wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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