i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I AM VODKA MAN
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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