just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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