i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
