im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
