I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
