I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
