Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
