I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
