the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
