My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
