Dual....:-)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
