We're facebook friends in real life
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
