she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
