its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
