She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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