Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
