bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
