i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There r osticjed everywhere
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize