I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
