Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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