real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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