What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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