So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
