like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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