Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
