I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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