White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
