This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize