My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
