I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
