Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize