Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
