he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize