That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
