Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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