Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
