i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
