Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize