question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
