you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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