Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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