If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
