winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
