i would punch a child for taco bell
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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