I just saw a hot homeless man
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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