Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
