I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
