we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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