I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize