After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize