Define "chronic" masturbator.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
