Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
