When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
