i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
