There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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