Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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