I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I touched a dick in church today
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
God, I missed his penis.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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