I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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