no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
