I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
