Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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