wat bout pragnant strippers??
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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