fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize