put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
